I really dont know how to describe my current feeling. I felt very emotional and confused. Maybe I just want to be alone for now. Felt frustrated, irritated and stressed. Maybe the weekends is going to be over in about 1 days and few hours time. And on Tuesday I have to go back to face the reality...the reality of life..... because I have to face the reality of finding jobs....

I really dont know. I know I needed a job. But the thought of sending resumes and cover letters to companies make me felt very dishearted. Maybe I am not optimistic about the interviews. Maybe I am afraid the cruel reality of people's critics about myself. Nobody likes to hear negative things about yourself. Or maybe I just do not have the courage to face them. I dont know what am I thinking and doing. Every two weeks I will be faced with this kind of feelings and I definitely dont like it! I dont know. I dont know what can I do. Is it so hard to survive in this world?

I dont know...I really dont know what happen to me today. Why did I say things like "Aiya... I dont wanna play anymore!" I know everyone is shocked and unhappy at my behaviour.. But...haiz..I really dont know what has happened to me....

Maybe I just needed a outlet to express my feelings and concern. But I just cant seem to find someone who truly understand me. There is a saying, "the one who understand you is you yourself." Okay..maybe I really really really need to think about that... Understanding myself...

God..please enlighten me.............